One of the things about growing up — or should that be growing old — is that you learn there is no holding time back. Yet it’s one of the things most wanted or quietly muttered in our minds, at the end of the day, month, year.

I know I’m circumventing what I want to say here. Maybe because there is no easy way to find the words to write how we arrived at this point, and, more importantly, what the next chapter might hold — for you, for us. The very thought makes me nervous, wary and worried that if we make the wrong decision, you’ll come back to taunt us that we made a big mistake. We didn’t do right by you and that very thing haunts me; it’s why your daddy and I are having endless discussions right now; trying to use our heads as much as our feelings on where you should head to next for your continued education. 

‘Big school’ is what you and I like to call it in our conversations, and also with your younger brother, who seems equally excited or interested about the thought of going to big school and asking endless questions. All the time I mutter quietly: “there’s still time, don’t grow up too quickly.” We do have almost a full academic year to go before we see you moving up to Big School and there’s a whole lot of exciting things to fit in before then. Some of which is to encourage that further independence when you take that giant step or leap to doing things more by and for yourself.

It’s a big leap I have to say. Well, maybe not quite as huge as the one moving away to university or into adulthood. Nevertheless, it feels big as I said above with the decision-making and coming back and forth in discussions. We know we could have done it the easy way, but we wanted to see what was out there and if there’s more that we could have chosen or done for you.

So we are taking a leap. We are trusting our instincts and hoping our judgment will be right. I cannot say that we are doing it without some fear and trepidation. Part of me when I look at you know that whatever setting you are placed in, you will embrace it and work hard at doing your best. You are brave, smart and quite fiercely determined. 

Next year will be another chapter for you to step into. You will take the leap and, I have no doubt, you will make it in your own way.

This is part of Artefact Motherhood - a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artefact we are leaving behind for children and the generations to come.

Go to the next artist in our blog circle, lovely Ann Owen.